• vB Slideshow
    Click here to enter the forums Click here to enter the forums Click here to enter the forums Click here to enter the forums
  • Church pastor grows breasts whilst buggering a boy

    An alleged sex-pest pastor for the House of Manna Global Ministries Church in Zimbabwe has grown himself a full set of knockers.

    it'sora Kaitano (40) was examined today by court officials who confirmed the alleged sex attacker has a buxom pair of breasts. Kaitano’s 24-year-old next door neighbour and reported victim, Tendai Tumba, claims that the church pastor invited him back to his house to pray together. However when the young man visited the minister, Kaitona anointed him with an oil which somehow paralysed him. Tumba claims as he lay helpless Kaitona fellated him and even swallowed his nut-custard. According to Tumba the holy man then grew a large set of women’s boobs, flipped him over and bummed him into next week.

    “He committed oral indecencies on my private parts and sodomised me. He also developed fully formed breasts.” Tumba told magistrate Mr Fadzai Mtombeni.

    “I later regained strength and left the room though Kaitano kept emphasising that I would die if I divulged the ordeal to anyone.”

    The following morning Tumba went back to see his alleged attacker, complaining of an itchy bum. He says Kaitano repeated his threat that if Tumba spilt the beans on their nocturnal adventures he would surely die.

    Tumba says he was later convinced by a friend that he had to report the bottom-rape to the police because he was bleeding from his back-passage and Kaitona was believed to be HIV+.

    When he was brought to the stand Kaitona denied what he described as “embarrassing” accusations and explained that the man-boobs he’d developed were a side-effect of a tuberculosis medication he is taking. The pastor told magistrates he was ready to be physically examined in order to clear him of being a homosexual. This possibly refers to the technique used by some authorities to measure the dilation of anuses to determine whether they have been stretched as a result of bum-sex.

    “I am being fought in my pastoral work through the embarrassing allegations raised against me,” Kaitona told the magistrates.

    The trial continues.
    Comments Leave Comment

    Click here to log in

  • Recent Forum Posts


    Re: Trump Watch

    At least he's gone, for now anyway.

    timey 07-04-2021, 21:34 Go to last post

    Re: What the hell, America...

    Too much bad things happening right now

    sandraallen 07-04-2021, 03:09 Go to last post

    Re: Trump Watch

    Not interested.

    sandraallen 07-04-2021, 03:02 Go to last post

    Re: National Magazines/Hearst Media

    Hmm, no, I don't know, but it's sad to see it go. It's kind of where we all first met and although I haven't posted there for years, I still have a soft

    timey 23-03-2021, 23:25 Go to last post

    National Magazines/Hearst Media

    Does anyone know whether National Magazines/Hearst Media donate to the Tories or not? Because Digital Spy closing/archiving the General Discussion and

    Alpha 23-03-2021, 10:43 Go to last post
  • Most popular threads

    • Morningstarr* Playlist
      (2240 replycount)
      • Im always out of ideas of new songs to listen to so if you guys find anything funky that you like the sound of please post it!

    • The Music Forum Jukebox
      (2167 replycount)
      • the title sounds a bit like something from a radio station :D Die Another Day featured on the Bond film of the same name...sung by...

    • Recommended Viewing
      (1736 replycount)
      • I'll try to keep this regularly updated. Although to be fair, Alpha is the best at this. ;) Good stuff on TV for the following week: An American...

    • The WWE Appreciation Thread
      (974 replycount)
      • Double Takers! Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/v/ocWZWyd4NGs Part...

    • Jimmy Savile
      (850 replycount)
      • ...