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Old 07-08-2007, 18:01   6 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)
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Default The Beast from the East

The Beast From The EastThis guy is simply a monster!

He's the biggest boxing champion ever known, and weighs in at an impressive 150 Kg (330lb) standing just over seven foot!

His real name is Nikolai Valuev, he's Russia's first ever heavyweight boxing champion and held the title from December 2005 until April this year. Like a real life Ivan Drago!

His career hasn't been all that incredible, most of his fights were with washed up has-beens and there may have been some fights organised that "The Beast" was unlikely to lose. However in defence of one poor performance where he only won on points, it was later revealed that Valuev had been fighting one handed as he had injured his right hand in training! That was the fight that earned him his title.

There was a little controversy last year when Valuev was accused of attacking a car park attendant who'd upset his wife by criticising her parking. "The Beast" says he didn't hit the attendant, or he really would've known about it, but he just grabbed the jobsworth by the scruff of the neck. The mini-Hitler suffered from a crushed thorax.

The police never prosecuted Valuev, amid rumours they were afraid of him due to "his freakish size and hirsuteness"!






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Last edited by Mr Morningstarr*; 07-08-2007 at 18:04.
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Old 07-08-2007, 18:10   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

omg he's scary and hairy
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Old 07-08-2007, 18:11   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

Wow, he's huge his face is strange too.
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Old 07-08-2007, 18:13   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

Boxing champion or not, you just wouldn't argue with that muncher would you?
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Old 07-08-2007, 19:47   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

His lumpy face is a side effect of gigantism.

Being smacked about can't be keeping him pretty either.
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Old 07-08-2007, 19:49   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

Do you have a lumpy face?
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Old 07-08-2007, 20:32   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

Does a nose count as a lump?
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Old 07-08-2007, 20:36   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

Depends if it's a "Tatlock" or not.
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Old 07-08-2007, 21:03   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

I don't think I'd argue over parking with him. I wouldn't say boo to him.

Is his manager a little dwarf, who has looked after him since birth? A bit like Mad Max 3.
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Old 07-08-2007, 21:07   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Beast from the East

He's a member of a Brute Squad these days.
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