The Beast from the East

[Earl]

This guy is simply a monster!

He's the biggest boxing champion ever known, and weighs in at an impressive 150 Kg (330lb) standing just over seven foot!

His real name is Nikolai Valuev, he's Russia's first ever heavyweight boxing champion and held the title from December 2005 until April this year. Like a real life Ivan Drago!

His career hasn't been all that incredible, most of his fights were with washed up has-beens and there may have been some fights organised that "The Beast" was unlikely to lose. However in defence of one poor performance where he only won on points, it was later revealed that Valuev had been fighting one handed as he had injured his right hand in training! That was the fight that earned him his title.

There was a little controversy last year when Valuev was accused of attacking a car park attendant who'd upset his wife by criticising her parking. "The Beast" says he didn't hit the attendant, or he really would've known about it, but he just grabbed the jobsworth by the scruff of the neck. The mini-Hitler suffered from a crushed thorax.

The police never prosecuted Valuev, amid rumours they were afraid of him due to "his freakish size and hirsuteness"!

[Ck]

omg he's scary and hairy

[Alpha]

Wow, he's huge his face is strange too.

[Earl]

Boxing champion or not, you just wouldn't argue with that fucker would you?

[Zombie Mastermind]

His lumpy face is a side effect of gigantism.

Being smacked about can't be keeping him pretty either.

[Earl]

Do you have a lumpy face?

[Zombie Mastermind]

Does a nose count as a lump?

[Earl]

Depends if it's a "Tatlock" or not.

[Donachiel]

I don't think I'd argue over parking with him. I wouldn't say boo to him.

Is his manager a little dwarf, who has looked after him since birth? A bit like Mad Max 3.

[Earl]

He's a member of a Brute Squad these days.