Man gets six months for sex with picnic table

[Ben]

Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months : News : WNWO NBC24

BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.


Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.

[Earl]

What crime did he actually commit?

Police say the the incidents occurred close to Ridge Elementary School.

Ah! Execute the scum! He should have his testicles bitten off by wild dogs, then tied to his forehead with barbed wire and smashed with a sledgehammer!



Those poor kids, that nothing actually happened to.

[mimseycal]

What a sad empty life these tipsters must have.

[timmy_too_far]

did the picnic table consent? maybe it shouldnt have been all alone, its way more vulnerable without all of its other picnic table friends!


he should just move to aus

[cat9tails]

Well it wasn't in the school yard, nor were any children involved. It was his own back yard and his table. I think it was an invasion of his privacy. He should get a good lawyer and pursue the tipster and the police. I'm guessing it was some sort of lewd behavior in public charge. Except it appears he wasn't in the public view.(it mentions the rear of the house)
The article does however say this

On June 18, 2008, Price pleaded 'no contest' to disseminating harmful material to juveniles and public indecency. According the the Huron County Department of Corrections, he was sentenced to six months in jail

but in the body of it, it doesn't really mention the disseminating harmful material to juveniles, which would be a crime. Harmful materials is a pretty vague charge, could be anything.

[mimseycal]

A box of matches in the right context!

[Ben]

Of course it's vague, it has to be vague because we're an invetive lot us human beings, and we need to have laws that allow us to prosecute people for things we've not thought of yet.

The guy should have shagged his table indoors.

EDIT: Like I do.

[Earl]

Seems unfair that you can't shag a table in your own garden.

[mimseycal]

Of course it's vague, it has to be vague because we're an invetive lot us human beings, and we need to have laws that allow us to prosecute people for things we've not thought of yet.

The guy should have shagged his table indoors.

EDIT: Like I do.

Behind every tipster is a touch of penis envy ...