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Thread: Ebay listing

  1. #1
    what an absolute shower! Jules's Avatar
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    Default Ebay listing

     57 - Ebay listing

    Here we have for sale the green monster that can only be Phil and Teds. I shall be glad to see it leave my premises and never return.

    This was purchased against my wishes many years ago as I never wanted any children and a buggy signified my wife's intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low cost child free life.

    This buggy clearly meant she intended to have not just one but multiple children and the extortionate price of this buggy will stay imprinted on my brain till the day I die. I have bought cars that cost less than this buggy. My dad once bought a house that cost less than this buggy.

    Anyway as you can tell I hate the buggy. I now have 3 children, and a Labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I dont know try and discuss the price of centre parc holidays, and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarize my life is over and this green albatross needs to go round some other poor sods neck.

    On the positive none of my three children were stupidly fat, but its been driven by my wife a lot so not all good. During its lifetime its had pretty much every bodily fluid known to science, (and several that have yet to be discovered) chucked over it by my children, Its also absorbed its own weight in Ellas Kitchen meals, and mud.

    I have tried to maintain this item as best I could and the wheels were filled with green slime to prevent punctures, and WD40 has been used with gusto on the relevant parts. It even comes with what I lovingly refer to as the Cinderella attachment for the second child you have but dont love as much as the first. It means they can sit but cant see anything, and have a ride thats about as comfortable as a Ford Model T.

    All of my children are now walking (often in completely the wrong direction) but someone else deserves to give this a good home. Over the years I have collected spare bits from other zombified fathers who were once full of life and I will throw these in as well.

    According to the other half she has the baby carry item that came with this and the pannier bags (whatever they are) but she never used them and they are immaculate and will be listed when she conquers her fear of heights and gets into the loft.

    This buggy has never been used for dog sledding, racing, or buggy bumper cars, although I once used it to concuss a randy Alsatian that tried getting amorous with my lab.

    There are many adverts on here for immaculate models and these people are all liars and scoundrels as nothing that comes into contact with a young child is ever immaculate.

    So for a starting price of just £9.99 you too can screw up your life. There are programs for those of you who need to recover from drugs or alcohol. Any money generated from this sale will be used to help me recover from children (and probably involve drugs and alchohol)

    So spend big - its for a good cause...

    Collection only from SO31 7FB - Cash on collection is fine.
    Your welcome to come and view it or take samples for further scientific analysis...


    Phil and teds green explorer double | eBay

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  2. #2
    what an absolute shower! Jules's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ebay listing

    some of the questions and replies

    Q: Your Push Chair Listing. I saw you pushchair on BBC Breakfast. In my opinion you should delist your advert. There are obvious errors in it A) Check the Price. Currently I can by a house for that B) Condition is filthy. If you don't de list I will report the advert before work this morning

    A: Dear Grumpy, I dont know where to start so I wont. Go back to bed and dont wake up until Jeremy Kyle starts. You need the sleep.

    Q: Do you realise the error in the price? 20-Jan-15

    A: I cant see an error. I have decided to throw in the tin of cuprinol as well so there is so much more than the original listing...

    Q: Hahaha! What are you going to do with the money?? 20-Jan-15

    A: I think we both know thats not really going to happen. But if it did it would be Ebay fees, taxes, a course of IVF for one particular emailer, a vasectomy for another, and a small but modest man cave for me at the bottom of the garden.

    Q: I hope u just said all that crap in your description to make a good sale. But if not, omg how pathetic u r! Bitching about your life. U don't deserve ur kids and they will hate u if they ever grow up to read this. And yes I have kids. 3 inc twins. So I know how hard it is. But it's part of being an adult is it not? U just need to bloody man up. Ignore me or tell to mind my own. But you made this go viral on fb, Twitter etc so expect feed back. Just feel sorry for ur wife u had to put up with all ur shite. Least u have made me realise just how great my hubby is compared you u. Hope u get loads of money for ur buggy and maybe use it to have an family outing to apologise for all the shite u have said about your children 20-Jan-15

    A: Warning for anyone having children - Email below is what a lack of sleep can do to you. Remember nap time is essential for both YOU and your little ones.

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