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Thread: What's Your Poo Telling You?

  1. #371
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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo

    In December 1997, Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo, first appeared on the television show South Park. He emerges from the toilet bowl in the tenth episode of South Park's first season wearing a Santa hat and brings gifts to little girls and boys whose diets are high in fibre.




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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Dr. Stool Says

    Can Haemorrhoids Impede or Affect Poo Evacuation?


    Typically, haemorrhoids do not cause direct blockage to the passage of stool. After all, they are nothing more than swollen veins, which, like blood vessels in other parts of the body, are soft and easily compressible.

    In situations where haemorrhoids become severely inflamed or thrombosed (which is when a clot forms in the haemorrhoid), the passage of stool can become quite painful and thus lead to a conscious decision to refrain from passing stool.

    In rare cases, patients with extremely large haemorrhoids can experience prolapse of their haemorrhoids outside the anal cavity, thus making the act of having a bowel movement much more difficult.

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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Coffee Break

    Although no medical studies support their use, coffee enemas are widely touted as having both mental and physical health benefits.

    Supporters claim that the caffeine is absorbed more quickly into the bloodstream when given an enema because the rectal veins are close to the tissue surface. This apparently delivers a more potent coffee buzz and a more forceful jump-start to your GI tract.

    The downside? You have to take it black. Flavoured coffee, creamers, and sweeteners are all enema no-nos.

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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    D. A. D. S.

    You Are What You Drink


    There are a lot of myths about what causes hangovers and how to treat them. The unassailable facts are:

    • Darker spirits (tequila, brandy, wine) are more likely to cause hangovers than lighter ones (rum, gin, vodka).
    • Proven treatments for hangovers include rehydration, vitamin B6, and possibly medicines that decrease prostaglandin production (e. g., ibuprofen).

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    Dr. Stool Says

    Maple Syrup Urine


    Several inherited metabolic diseases are first suspected when changes in urine odour are detected.

    The aptly-named Maple Syrup Urine Disease is often diagnosed after parents notice a sweet, maple syrup scent emanating from their child's nappy.

    A similar genetic disorder called phenylketonuria causes urine (and sweat) to have a "musty" odour.

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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Second Airborne Division

    The "flying latrine" is a unique form of human waste disposal popularised in many slums around the world. Excrement is deposited in polyethylene bags and flung as far as possible from one's dwelling.

    Airborne poo became such a problem that many African countries banned importation and manufacturing of such bags.

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    Dr. Stool Says

    If Champagne Gives You the Hiccups, Call a Proctologist


    Although benign, hiccups can be a nuisance. While most experience hiccups for a few minutes at a time, there are instances when individuals hiccup every two to three seconds for days or weeks.

    One physician, Francis Fesmire, M. D., recently reported on a novel treatment for this condition: the rectal exam. Employing what he calls a "digital rectal massage," accomplished by inserting his finger into the affected individual's rectum and moving it in a "slow, circular motion," Dr. Fesmire was able to cure patients of their intractable hiccups.

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  8. #378
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    Question Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl View Post
    One physician, Francis Fesmire, M. D., recently reported on a novel treatment for this condition: the rectal exam. Employing what he calls a "digital rectal massage," accomplished by inserting his finger into the affected individual's rectum and moving it in a "slow, circular motion," Dr. Fesmire was able to cure patients of their intractable hiccups.


    How the fuck did he figure it out??

    Did it go summat like this:

    Patient: "I've hic got hiccups. They hic won't bloody hic stop!"

    Doc: "Hmmmm, perhaps I should stick my finger up your arsehole."

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    Default Re: What's Your Poo Telling You?

    Dr Anish Sheth, author of best selling book What’s Your Poo Telling You?, says he’s cracked the mystery over ‘poo-phoria’, the euphoric feeling some people experience from crimping off a massive turd.

    According to the good doctor a nice, big, rectum-stretching, bolus of poo will stimulate the same nerve which is associated with sexual climax.

    “The distention of the rectum that comes with the passing of a large mass of stool causes the vagus nerve to fire,” Dr Anish explains.

    Poo-poo expert Anish says that it is perfectly safe for people to bulk up their craps with plenty of fibre in order to experience this so-called poo-phoria, but he warns that it could become addictive, and there are some dangers. Surprisingly those dangers aren’t from torn bungholes or ruptured sphincter-rings, but from passing out and bashing your brainball in.

    “The net effect of this poo-phoria is a drop in your heart rate and blood pressure, which in turn decreases blood flow to the brain,” he said.

    “When mild, the lightheadedness can lead to a sense of sublime relation — the high.”

    “However, a more significant drop in brain perfision can cause ‘defecation syncope’, a dangerous syndrome that results in a loss of consciousness.”
    Boffins determine why some people experience orgasms from passing large stools | The Morningstarr*

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