*Top Tips*

[Ernest Rants]

£245 per night.

so you tipped the staff then

[Chippychap]

so you tipped the staff then

Nope, they caught him shitting in the shower.
Apparently the person actually TAKING the shower at the time went ballistic.

[timey]

Save on toilet roll - eat more eggs.

I'm now beginning to understand how this works.

[Ck]

Sorry, Timey, it's not really funny is it

[Lucian Deville]

Don't dish out feeble insults if you can't take them back

FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[timmy_too_far]

haha, there goes the toilet humour :P

take a whistle to your safe haven incase you need to disguise a machine gun

safe haven - a place where you go to take a dump that nobody else goes into
machine gun - the noises your butt makes the morning after eating mexican
food

[Earl]

Good idea. But every time people hear you whistling they'll know you're having a massive shit.

[timmy_too_far]

OR they'll think im just sittin there, blowin my whistle . hehe when my mum's partner lived in a one bedroomed complex next door to the angriest people in the world, he used to fart alot and everytime he did he used to say 'ah its those bloody ducks again!', he kept on doing it and one day the guy cracked it and said 'THERE ARENT NO FUCKING DUCKS, THATS A FUCKING FART!!! haha, aaaah memories

[dominator31]

That's very good.

LMAO good one!

[Earl]

Sometimes to avoid rushing in the morning I eat my breakfast before I go to bed at night.