Howdy Good Folk

[Major Starbold]

Back from a very good holiday.
Has been up to 34 degrees in Alicante.

I have had big shit since landing at Brum Airport, car trouble.

Explain later.

[jools182]

must have been that Spanish food

[CambCelt]

must have been that Spanish food

[Earl]

Good afternoon Major, welcome home.

[CambCelt]

Oh yeah, good afternoon MS.

[Ck]

Welcome back Major.

[Major Starbold]

Thank you kindly folkz.

Holiday was very good, flights perfect.

My wife only bought 2 bags, 1 purse and a pair of shoes, what did I get, sweet BA.

Booked car into 'Stress Free Parking'. yes it is named such.
Arrived at airport and within 5 minutes we signed and were off directly to 'Passport Control', got searched, no prob.

On the way back into Birmingham International it all started to go titz up.

I was on the phone trying to get our car bought to the car park as agreed STRESS FREE.
Got a bollukin for using it at the desk.

Got through to the carpark ladz who could not find my name, musta took 20 bleedin minutes, they eventually said our car would be brought to us in 5 to 10 minutes.
To cut a boring long story short we waited 1 hour 20 minutes and they said we had a flat battery which would not jump start from a Range Rover so they had to get a slave battery set up.
I drove home perfect, unloaded the car, went out to start it, flat as twiggy.
Called the RAC who came quick, checked system and said new battery required, he went to FORD to get one but they had shut 5 minutes before he got there.
He started our car and we went to ford who were still open at reception, I left it with them to sort out under warranty.
Phoned for a hire car, could not get one until 8.30pm yesterday, said bugga it, send me one early tomorrow morning as I am nakkud.
8.30am today they phone me to confirm my address, name and take a £50 credit card deposit saying car will be with me just before 10.00am.
Did it come on time, did it eck. I phoned and phoned and phoned asking where it was and every time some asshole said "it should be with you any minute".
11.45 am the asshole manager rang to apologise for the delay with getting my hire car to me and said he was pleased it was now resolved.
Resolved my arse I said, I do not have your car, he assured me that I did and insisted I look by my letter box for the keys and paperwork, I was now spitting fethuz, he put me on hold, came back saying they put them through the wrong letter box and parked said car outside someone elses house, what a twack?
He sent me another car within 30 minutes with the same twack driverz.
When I found out where they had dropped the keyz through the wrong letter box I realised the house does not get used very much and is unusual for anyone to be there, I told them and you should have seen their faces.
We went out in the brand new Vauxhall Meriva 600 milez on the clock, would not pull the skin from a rice pudding.
Came back home and got someone to get into the house for me to retrieve the keys from the first car, a Skoda.
NOW I HAVE 3 BLEEDING CARS as ours is ready from the garage.

WAIT A MINUTE FOLKS.
Our car has to go in the body shop tomorrow so they will deliver curtesy car for us, so early tomorrow we will have four bleedin cars here.

The garage is blaming the nakkud battery on the stop start and press button system constantly searching even when stationary, beats me.
I am dubious the prob is solved.

So there it is, one monumental shit up.

Probably forgot summut.

[Delboy]

Thank you kindly folkz.

Holiday was very good, flights perfect.

My wife only bought 2 bags, 1 purse and a pair of shoes, what did I get, sweet BA.

Booked car into 'Stress Free Parking'. yes it is named such.
Arrived at airport and within 5 minutes we signed and were off directly to 'Passport Control', got searched, no prob.

On the way back into Birmingham International it all started to go titz up.

I was on the phone trying to get our car bought to the car park as agreed STRESS FREE.
Got a bollukin for using it at the desk.

Got through to the carpark ladz who could not find my name, musta took 20 bleedin minutes, they eventually said our car would be brought to us in 5 to 10 minutes.
To cut a boring long story short we waited 1 hour 20 minutes and they said we had a flat battery which would not jump start from a Range Rover so they had to get a slave battery set up.
I drove home perfect, unloaded the car, went out to start it, flat as twiggy.
Called the RAC who came quick, checked system and said new battery required, he went to FORD to get one but they had shut 5 minutes before he got there.
He started our car and we went to ford who were still open at reception, I left it with them to sort out under warranty.
Phoned for a hire car, could not get one until 8.30pm yesterday, said bugga it, send me one early tomorrow morning as I am nakkud.
8.30am today they phone me to confirm my address, name and take a £50 credit card deposit saying car will be with me just before 10.00am.
Did it come on time, did it eck. I phoned and phoned and phoned asking where it was and every time some asshole said "it should be with you any minute".
11.45 am the asshole manager rang to apologise for the delay with getting my hire car to me and said he was pleased it was now resolved.
Resolved my arse I said, I do not have your car, he assured me that I did and insisted I look by my letter box for the keys and paperwork, I was now spitting fethuz, he put me on hold, came back saying they put them through the wrong letter box and parked said car outside someone elses house, what a twack?
He sent me another car within 30 minutes with the same twack driverz.
When I found out where they had dropped the keyz through the wrong letter box I realised the house does not get used very much and is unusual for anyone to be there, I told them and you should have seen their faces.
We went out in the brand new Vauxhall Meriva 600 milez on the clock, would not pull the skin from a rice pudding.
Came back home and got someone to get into the house for me to retrieve the keys from the first car, a Skoda.
NOW I HAVE 3 BLEEDING CARS as ours is ready from the garage.

WAIT A MINUTE FOLKS.
Our car has to go in the body shop tomorrow so they will deliver curtesy car for us, so early tomorrow we will have four bleedin cars here.

The garage is blaming the nakkud battery on the stop start and press button system constantly searching even when stationary, beats me.
I am dubious the prob is solved.

So there it is, one monumental shit up.

Probably forgot summut.

you Did remember to bring the missus back I hope Major ??? welcome back if you had of called my kid Brother he would have loaned you one of the firms cars!

[Earl]

Sounds like you need a good holiday after all that.

[CambCelt]

Sounds like you need a good holiday after all that.