People say the stupidest things

**Earl** · 01-01-2012, 13:42


		In life you have to rely on the past, and that's called history.

mogul Donald Trump, on Celebrity Apprentice

**Earl** · 02-01-2012, 10:48

Written on an insurance claim form by a claimant whose car hit a cow:

Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn.

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo.

**jools182** · 02-01-2012, 10:53

Well if they are going to ask stupid questions

**Earl** · 03-01-2012, 06:38

Are you open on weekends?
Are we confined to our room or are we allowed to go out?
How dare you fold the towels in the room like that! That's not how I fold them at home! I reserved this room a month ago; you knew I was coming here!

actual questions/comments from guests to a front desk employee of a major hotel

**Earl** · 04-01-2012, 18:47

TRY A 50 YEAR OLD WHOPPER WITH CHEESE

Sign outside a Burger King (advertising the fact the Whopper had been invented 50 years before)

**CambCelt** · 04-01-2012, 18:56

Sarah Palin and the Libya 'Squirmish'

**syl1** · 04-01-2012, 19:53

I always felt my twenties were like waiting to board a plane, I was in the departure lounge of who I really am.

Geri Halliwell.

The difference between Sly Stallone and me is I am me and he is him.

That great politition Arnold Sshwartzenegger.

**Earl** · 05-01-2012, 06:52

Qualifications: Twin sister has accounting degree.
Salary requirements: Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.
References: Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don't know their phone numbers.

Included on actual résumés

**Earl** · 06-01-2012, 16:32

menu items, Spain

**Earl** · 07-01-2012, 10:09


		It's time to put our blood or our urine where our mouth is.

Iowa State Representative and Speaker of the Iowa House Pat Murphy, referring to drug testing