Artery cloggers

[Earl]

What the fuck is milk gravy???

[Ck]

I feel sick

[Ben]

What the fuck is milk gravy???

• 2 tablespoons oil, butter or bacon grease
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 to 2 cups milk
• Salt and pepper to taste

Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the oil and heat slightly. (If using a pan in which meat was prepared, remove the meat, drain off all but 2 tablespoons of the fat from the pan and continue.) Add the flour and whisk vigorously to combine with the oil. Reduce heat to medium-low and continue to stir until the flour mixture is well blended, about 5 minutes. For more flavor, continue to cook until the mixture lightly golden, about another 5 minutes. Gradually add the milk, about 1/4 cup at a time, whisking vigorously to combine with the roux before adding more. Reduce heat if it is cooking too fast. Continue to gradually add the milk until the desired thickness, keeping in mind it will thicken more as it sets. Taste for seasoning. If you can't use the gravy immediately, remove from heat. Return to a medium heat and whisk in some more milk when ready to use.

[Earl]

Oooh, that sounds lovely.

[timey]

That's a white sauce.

[Ben]

Yeah, but milk gravy sounds nicer.

[timey]

Sauce du lait.

[Ben]

I've just seen this on another site. It looks good.

[Earl]

Looks dangerous.

[Ben]

A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.

Simple as that. No loud noises, no breaking your alarm, just delicious bacon.

Now what you need to do is keep a mini-fridge by the bed so you can toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon.

Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later you can't see your penis past your pork-gut anymore because you've been eating two pounds of bacon every morning.