Sick weirdos in Scotland have attempted to steal a horse’s penis.

The 23-year-old Icelandic gelding, named Hrafn was found by his owners on Thursday morning bleeding profusely with his John Thomas hanging on by its urethra. The poor nag had to undergo emergency surgery to remove the dong, which could not be reattached or repaired. Insp John Toule, of the Scottish SPCA said the penis injury was the result of a deliberate malicious attack.

“This appears to have been a malicious attack.” He said grimly.

“It is difficult to comprehend why anyone would do this to a defenceless animal and this attack is extremely concerning”

The horse’s owners say that thankfully Hrafn is on the mend, although he was quite traumatised by the attack.
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An inquest into the death of a 30-year-old woman from Cirencester has ruled that death was caused by heightened sexual arousal as she masturbated watching pornography.

Nicola Paginton was found dead by her employer and a friend after they broke into her home. Miss Paginton’s boss Sarah Griffiths had gone to her home after she failed to turn up for work, when Miss Paginton failed to answer the door Griffiths looked through the windows and saw her lying motionless on her bed so she decided to break in.

After enlisting the help of a neighbour, Michelle Grant, the pair broke into Miss Paginton’s home and discovered that she was dead with her laptop computer still running. The pair then lifted Miss Paginton’s duvet and discovered she was naked from the waist down and a vibrator was next to her. The laptop still had the porno showing on the screen.
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Police in Plymouth, Devon are on the lookout for a balding weirdo who was caught on CCTV sniffing the backside of a supermarket employee.

The bespectacled, middle aged man has been seen on two separate occasions sniffing the arse of an unidentified male shop assistant in the Plymouth branch of the Co-Op supermarket. The store’s CCTV cameras filmed the oddball on two consecutive weekends going about his funny business, Devon police are appealing for witnesses to the attacks which took place on 31st of October and 7th November this year.

“It’s a bizarre incident. The shop was full of people. Someone must have seen the man.” Det Con Steve White told The Sun.
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