A 26-year-old South African fellow has been arrested by coppers for carrying around human genitalia in a jam jar.

Joel Ranoto was picked up by police in Polokwane on Friday and appeared before magistrates earlier today. The court heard that police were alerted to Ranoto carrying a cock when a traditional healer contacted them. It is alleged that Ranoto was trying to sell the pickled penis for profit, hoping the medicine man would pay handsomely for a knob and testicles he could use to make a voodoo charm.

The reproductive glands in Ranoto’s possession came from a recently deceased male who was lying in a funeral director’s mortuary. Ranoto was employed by Telezaro Funeral Parlour, and had arrived at the mortuary on Friday morning to dress the corpse of Mosima Semenya’s 60-year-old dead son. Mosima and her widowed daughter-in-law were expecting to bury their dearly departed on Saturday morning but instead were informed by police on Friday evening that the corpse had been violated.
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Police in Johannesburg have been called in to investigate after a baby was killed and partially devoured by rats.

The six-month-old infant was found in a shack in Diepsloot this weekend lying atop a mound of bloodied blankets. The child’s mother had reported the baby’s death to the police in the early hours of Sunday morning and said the cause of death had been a rat attack. Officers attended the scene to find the mother, a known drunk, had fled and couldn’t be traced. The baby’s body had been badly mutilated by rats gnawing off its arm, a foot, and one eye. The injuries to the child were so severe that members of the community where the child was found are convinced the death is the result of ritualistic murder, police even started a murder investigation but have paused the operation after a pathologist confirmed the baby was killed by rodents.

The mother of the baby is still unaccounted for, family members told local press that the mother was a bit of a drinker and the baby had been left unattended whilst she went out on the pop Saturday evening.
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A 13-year-old schoolboy has been arrested for raping practically anything that moves, including calfs, goats, chickens and even his younger sister.

The unnamed child and his parents were arrested by cops in the Suna West constituency of Kenya earlier this week. The police swooped on the boy’s home after classmates found him balls-deep in a juvenile cow, and his parents failed to act. Police decided prompt action must be taken when it emerged the young lad was a habitual animal abuser who occasionally raped his six-year-old sister. The youngster’s appetite for animal sex has even resulted in a number of fatalities.

“Our preliminary investigation established he mounts goats, sheep and calves and killed three chicken through his unnatural act” police assistant chief Barack Ogaja told local press.
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