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  • Earl

    Published on 17-07-2014 14:38
    1. Categories:
    2. Weird World
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    Or even a whole bunch. This stunning collection of five 25million-year-old pieces of shit is set to go for around £2,000 at auction.

    The glorious lumps of crap come in five vivid shades of deep red-purple, ochre orange, soft dark-violet, grey-green and warm woody burnt umber. Each ancient, fossilised butt-nugget (or coprolite) is uncannily life-like and beautifully formed, the largest of the collection even sports a wonderfully pleasurable arse-taper.

    Experts were unable to identify exactly which creature from the Paleogene period actually crimped-off the nutty-logs, but they suspect the turtle's heads were left behind by a mighty prehistoric turtle.
    ...
    Published on 16-07-2014 15:40
    1. Categories:
    2. Hotties
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    Miserable killjoys at Facebook have bollocksed-up the attempts of some hot young female students trying to raise a few quid for charity by taking their clothes off and showing off their arses.

    In another case of Friendface's heavy-handed and completely rubbish managing of accounts they've banned the page for The University of Warwick Rowing Society's sexy nude calendar, calling it pornography.

    Well pornography is something of a subjective term, but the good girls at the University of Warwick Boat Club are quite sure that their saucy calendars are actually art, and certainly not bongo.
    ...
    Published on 08-12-2013 17:05
    1. Categories:
    2. Weird World
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    A first-time-mum from Hadapsar in western India was distressed to find maggots crawling down her legs a few days after giving birth.

    The unnamed 22-year-old woman had given birth to a healthy baby in hospital, but ten days later, whilst feeling some considerable discomfort, she noticed flesh-eating maggots wriggling out of her vulva. Her naturally traumatised husband rushed her off to the nearest hospital where medics were fortunately able to repair the woman’s minge.

    “It was very painful. Initially, we thought it was normal to feel sore, but when I saw maggots, we were alarmed and went to the doctor straight away.” The infested woman explained.
    ...
    Published on 04-12-2013 18:58
    1. Categories:
    2. Weird World
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    A 26-year-old South African fellow has been arrested by coppers for carrying around human genitalia in a jam jar.

    Joel Ranoto was picked up by police in Polokwane on Friday and appeared before magistrates earlier today. The court heard that police were alerted to Ranoto carrying a cock when a traditional healer contacted them. It is alleged that Ranoto was trying to sell the pickled penis for profit, hoping the medicine man would pay handsomely for a knob and testicles he could use to make a voodoo charm.

    The reproductive glands in Ranoto’s possession came from a recently deceased male who was lying in a funeral director’s mortuary. Ranoto was employed by Telezaro Funeral Parlour, and had arrived at the mortuary on Friday morning to dress the corpse of Mosima Semenya’s 60-year-old dead son. Mosima and her widowed daughter-in-law were expecting to bury their dearly departed on Saturday morning but instead were informed by police on Friday evening that the corpse had been violated.
    ...
    Published on 26-11-2013 20:08
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    2. Weird World
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    A five-year-old boy will have to face the rest of his life with the absence of testicle-balls after they were bitten off by an angry pit bull terrier.

    The unnamed lad was staying with family at their home in Yonkers, New York this weekend when the six-year-old bitch attacked his genital nut-sack and ripped off his dangly bits. The young child is reported to have simply wandered into the wrong bedroom when the over protective hound lunged at him, seizing his private parts in its jaws and ragging them about.

    The boy was rushed to a hospital in the Bronx and later transferred to another infirmary in the area where he is said to be recovering.
    ...
    Published on 11-11-2013 17:26
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    2. Weird World
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    Police in Johannesburg have been called in to investigate after a baby was killed and partially devoured by rats.

    The six-month-old infant was found in a shack in Diepsloot this weekend lying atop a mound of bloodied blankets. The child’s mother had reported the baby’s death to the police in the early hours of Sunday morning and said the cause of death had been a rat attack. Officers attended the scene to find the mother, a known drunk, had fled and couldn’t be traced. The baby’s body had been badly mutilated by rats gnawing off its arm, a foot, and one eye. The injuries to the child were so severe that members of the community where the child was found are convinced the death is the result of ritualistic murder, police even started a murder investigation but have paused the operation after a pathologist confirmed the baby was killed by rodents.

    The mother of the baby is still unaccounted for, family members told local press that the mother was a bit of a drinker and the baby had been left unattended whilst she went out on the pop Saturday evening.
    ...
    Published on 07-11-2013 13:01
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    2. Weird World
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    An alleged sex-pest pastor for the House of Manna Global Ministries Church in Zimbabwe has grown himself a full set of knockers.

    it'sora Kaitano (40) was examined today by court officials who confirmed the alleged sex attacker has a buxom pair of breasts. Kaitano’s 24-year-old next door neighbour and reported victim, Tendai Tumba, claims that the church pastor invited him back to his house to pray together. However when the young man visited the minister, Kaitona anointed him with an oil which somehow paralysed him. Tumba claims as he lay helpless Kaitona fellated him and even swallowed his nut-custard. According to Tumba the holy man then grew a large set of women’s boobs, flipped him over and bummed him into next week.

    “He committed oral indecencies on my private parts and sodomised me. He also developed fully formed breasts.” Tumba told magistrate Mr Fadzai Mtombeni.
    ...
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