Rewarding good behaviour

[Ck]

I personally don't bother rewarding my sons good behaviour but only 'cos I don't believe in bribery.

This woman rewards hers though >> Link hock:

Do you think kids should be rewarded for being good or do you think it's to be expected?

[Earl]

I thought the carrot and stick approach was the best way to go. Reward all good behaviour and punish bad behaviour, if consistent the child soon learns what is expected of them. I would try to be clear and honest in my definitions of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, and explain the reasoning behind it to the child.

I don't think giving them drugs as a reward is ever going to be a good idea though.

[Ck]

Sorry, I was unclear. I was meaning should they be rewarded with material things.

[Earl]

Oh yeah, I see. Reward with material things or just praise?

I don't see a problem with rewarding with material things in principle, but the practicality could be difficult.

[Ck]

It'd be hard to keep it up. If I was having a skint time I'd have to encourage the kid to be naughty. :P

[A_B]

I don't reward good behaviour with material things - I'm lucky - I've got (probably) the most well behaved kid in the world....I rarely (if ever) have to tell him off. If I tell him once - that's enough ....so if I rewarded good behaviour by spending money - I'd be bankrupt. I do however, constantly let him know how proud I am that he's not 'one of those naughty boys'

My daughter was having problems at a new school when she was younger and the teacher started a book - if she was good, I had to reward her with money hock: I didn't want to bribe her - so I never bothered. She wasn't naughty - just very forgetful (P.E kit etc)....so really - I was gonna be rewarding her for me remembering her kit and books for her. hock:

I'm not good at bringing girls up - they're hard work - because I'd split with her dad - I did the wrong thing and rewarded her for bad behaviour because of the guilt ops:

[Fallen_Angel69]

I don't think all good behaviour should be rewarded with material things, perhaps after a length of time. Positive praise can work just as effectively as the child aspires to get more praise, the material possession could be seen as just a one off achievement.

[Ck]

I'm of the opinion that offering a material reward for good behaviour could lead to confusion of the child. If they get rewarded with something for being good one day then they could be a bit put out if they're good the next and it goes unrewarded. It's not erm.... consistent*, unless it's run like a military school. In my experience, which admittedly is small, kids feel more comfortable with consistency.


*not sure if that's the right word but I can't think of a better one right now.

My son is very literal though so maybe it'd just give kids like him mixed messages but not others.

[SFB]

Best to tell em that you won't bash em quite so hard when they're good as when they're bad and it's cheap?