The Morningstarr* - Pushy mothers make their daughters more successful

Autumn_Breeze · 05-10-2008, 14:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ck

I kinda expect the boy will go on to further education and then uni but the difference between my parents and me is that going to uni now is kind of the norm and so i've made provisions so that he'll be ok financially. That wasn't an option for me back then.

Do they have uni's in France? What's the norm further ed wise over there?

Yeah, I'd say that as well. I drilled it into my daughter that she wasn't leaving school at 16 and luckily, even though she lives with her grandma, she's taken that on board. It wasn't even in her head to leave school when she could (I think they've maybe pushed her so I don't blame them for her not going though). She wants life experience before university though, so she's taking a year off after this school year to go travelling and to do volunteering work before going the following year. People usually take a year out while they're at university, but she wants to do it before things get 'serious' as she puts it.

Yes, there are universities in France, so I'll be pushing my son to be staying at school for as long as possible. I know you can always go back when you're an adult (I did), but it's not ideal because you miss out on the fun part (drinking and going out with your mates and nearly failing

).

Autumn_Breeze · 05-10-2008, 14:37

...oh and the norm in France is to stay in education for as long as possible. When they finish high school they have the option of two different kinds of colleges depending on how well they've done. One is for the more intelligent (learning college) and the other is for the not so intelligent (vocational training). The second lot leave school after that and the first ones go onto university.

The problem around here is that the employment laws protect the employee too much, so people are wary of employing someone with no experience, so it's very hard for a French person to get a 'first experience'. A lot of people head to London to get it because employers are more likely to employ them after that.

Basically an employer can't get rid of you no matter how bad you are, or how many sick days you have if you have a contract, so financially it's too risky to employ someone with no work experience (that's why there were riots in Paris a couple of years ago). I don't know what we'll do by the time my son leaves school. He might have to go back to England if he's having the same problems as the French, but it'll be a while yet so I'm not gonna worry until then.

nikii · 05-10-2008, 14:42

I totally disagree with that.

If you are being pushed by your mum, it just makes me feel angry, and upset when you don't meet there expectations.

FreeBBC · 05-10-2008, 14:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikii

I totally disagree with that.

If you are being pushed by your mum, it just makes me feel angry, and upset when you don't meet there expectations.

agree

timey · 05-10-2008, 14:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikii

I totally disagree with that.

If you are being pushed by your mum, it just makes me feel angry, and upset when you don't meet there expectations.

Well, I agree with what you say, but it's gentle pushing - encouragement if you like - that I am meaning. One thing I don't like is parents being too pushy and making you feel like you have let them down if you don't succeed.

Ck · 05-10-2008, 16:07

My lad sort of got upset with me when I said I wanted him to move up some sets in science after his October exams.

He had dropped 5 sets from top set to one up from remedial though. Apparently there was a problem with the exams that placed them this term and the marking of the exams so when I was saying I expected him to move up I was meaning that it'll be a given 'cos they're sorting the exams out not because i expected a lot more from him in particular. He didn't half get stressy with me though

Autumn_Breeze · 05-10-2008, 16:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikii

I totally disagree with that.

If you are being pushed by your mum, it just makes me feel angry, and upset when you don't meet there expectations.

There's a different between being pushy and giving encouragement though. If you didn't push your kids at least a bit, they probably wouldn't even bother at school.