Adults rely on parents' finance

[timey]

It seems crazy to me how far some parents will go in helping their offspring out financially. Paying for the odd big thing, fine, but helping with their everyday household costs doesn't seem right to me. How are they ever going to stand on their own two feet otherwise? My parents would never do that, and I wouldn't expect them to either.

BBC NEWS | UK | Adults 'rely on parents' finance'

[Ck]

My parents didn't help me out and it taught me well. I left school at 16 and got a job that allowed under 18 year olds to go to college on day release to do A levels or diplomas without taking a drop in salary though so I did do pretty well early on. My uncle was a driving instructor and he taught me to drive as my 17th birthday pressie and when I passed my mum let me have my bank book so i could buy a car.

I'll help the lad through further education and prolly pay for driving lessons for his birthday but other than that I doubt I'll help out with day to day expenses. I'd want to but it teaches them nowt.

[A_B]

Yeah, I'd want to but I wouldn't. Anyway, my son is determined he's gonna be a well paid actor and 'look after' me, so I won't need to do it.

[timey]

My parents didn't help me out and it taught me well. I left school at 16 and got a job that allowed under 18 year olds to go to college on day release to do A levels or diplomas without taking a drop in salary though so I did do pretty well early on. My uncle was a driving instructor and he taught me to drive as my 17th birthday pressie and when I passed my mum let me have my bank book so i could buy a car.

I'll help the lad through further education and prolly pay for driving lessons for his birthday but other than that I doubt I'll help out with day to day expenses. I'd want to but it teaches them nowt.

My parents have never given me anything, even when I was at Uni and we were really struggling. Not even a loan. I wouldn't expect them to but they might have asked. When me and the OH got married, we got some money from her gran, a kind of "advance" on her will, to help us get a flat. My parents were not happy about this as they think we should only do things we can afford ourselves. Fair enough, but it was only £1000. They are too far the other way, IMO.

[Hutchybee]

My mate is 37 and still lives at home with his mum and dad and brothers aged 36 and 26. This may sound horrible but I want my kids gone by then! My parents couldnt afford to help me so I just got on with it and left home at 22. I now appreciate what I have because I worked hard to get it.

IMO parents that mollycoddle their kids are doing them no favours as life is hard. Tell your kids what is out there and try and make independent by giving them a little but not too much so that they get an idea of whats to come. Supporting their lifestyle way up into adult hood is a big no no.

[A_B]

That's nothing, Hutch. My ex is nearly 40 and still lives with his mum. He just never grew up because his mum was forever helping him out. He did move out to live with me when he was younger, but when we split up he moved straight back in with her. He'll be there forever now - he's just not had to learn how to survive by himself, so isn't able to do it now.

[timey]

I couldn't live with my mum. One or other of us would be dead within days.

[Hutchybee]

That's nothing, Hutch. My ex is nearly 40 and still lives with his mum.

40?!!!! She must want him there! My kids will not be living with me for another 30 years... I'll downsize to a bloody one bedroom bungalow and kick them out!

I couldn't live with my mum. One or other of us would be dead within days.

[A_B]

I couldn't live with my mum. One or other of us would be dead within days.

I'd say it'd be within hours with me and my parents.

[A_B]

40?!!!! She must want him there! My kids will not be living with me for another 30 years... I'll downsize to a bloody one bedroom bungalow and kick them out!

I doubt it, but the responsibility of looking after him has always been there, so she has to have him there.

I'd just say no to him and make him find his own feet. His girlfriend (of about 8 years) and baby live across the street from him, but he still decides to live with his mum because it's cheaper.