The Morningstarr*

A canoeist got the shit scared out of him this week when he paddled past a massive Burmese python in the Grand Union Canal in Aylestone, Leicestershire.

Sadly the snake was dead, the victim of another irresponsible owner or some other type of all round bad egg.
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Christmas is almost upon us once more and it’s the time of year when most people in the western world look to celebrate capitalism by tying it in to the traditional Christian celebrations. In certain parts of Europe, particularly Spain, those traditional celebrations include a lot more defecation and excrement than most readers might expect.

A friend of mine has just returned from a business trip to Seville in southern Spain and brought me back a superb piece of traditional Spanish Christmas celebrations, a small figurine of a crouching bumpkin crimping off his very own yuletide log. The little figure, about three inches in height, is commonly placed in nativity scenes depicting the birth of Jesus Christ in a lowly barn in Bethlehem. Along with more obvious characters such as the virgin Mary, Joseph, three wise men and shepherds in many Spanish homes there will also be crouching in the corner a shitting man. The Christmas pooper is called a ‘caganer‘, this translates simply as ‘the defecator’, which sounds like a superhero or wrestler’s name. The defecator is thought to have its origins in Catalonia, north-east Spain, where it has appeared in nativity scenes since at least the 17th century but may be even older.
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A shower of crazy witches in India have brutally mutilated a man in front of his family, and then torched him.

The bloodthirsty witches laughed and cheered, dancing around Brijlal Chopra as he writhed in agony.

Mr Chopra, from Mandla in central India, had taken his 10-year-old son to the traditional healers for medical assistance, but once Brijlal and his family reached the healer's commune the old crone accused him of being a rival sorcerer and commanded her disciples to kill him!
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