The Morningstarr*

A 13-year-old schoolboy has been arrested for raping practically anything that moves, including calfs, goats, chickens and even his younger sister.

The unnamed child and his parents were arrested by cops in the Suna West constituency of Kenya earlier this week. The police swooped on the boy’s home after classmates found him balls-deep in a juvenile cow, and his parents failed to act. Police decided prompt action must be taken when it emerged the young lad was a habitual animal abuser who occasionally raped his six-year-old sister. The youngster’s appetite for animal sex has even resulted in a number of fatalities.

“Our preliminary investigation established he mounts goats, sheep and calves and killed three chicken through his unnatural act” police assistant chief Barack Ogaja told local press.
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A crazy prostitute user kidnapped a former vice girl and spent a week raping her in a soundproof room hoping this would make her fall in love with him.

34-year-old oddball Michael Allen Pilgrim had regularly paid for the unnamed woman’s services when she had been a sex worker, but felt totally razzed-off and annoyed when she quit her chosen career path in 2011 and stopped selling her body. Pilgrim, a former aeronautical engineer from Melbourne, had never had a proper sexual relationship with any women other than hookers and believed that he had a real connection with his victim. When she quit the tarting profession Pilgrim took it as a personal rejection and decided to win his harlot’s heart by stalking, abducting and raping her.

Pilgrim began his romantic mission by fitting GPS bugging devices to the woman’s car and tracking her movements on his computer. He then set up fake identities, created disguises, procured several weapons and rented a secluded property in a rural part of Australia, which he soundproofed. Then in July last year he snatched the object of his affections off the street, handcuffed her, and bundled her into his car. He then drove her to his raping-room where she was chained from her ankle to an eye-bolt in the floor. Pilgrim then spent the week repeatedly raping his victim, somehow believing that she would eventually succumb to Stockholm syndrome and fall deeply in love with him.
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Curators at the Manchester Museum have been left flabbergasted after CCTV footage has shown an ancient Egyptian statue has began moving around all on its own.

The seemingly haunted statue rotates on its base in an anti-clockwise direction, as if looking around the museum’s egyptology department with it’s own spectral eyes. Egg-headed boffin and artefact expert Campbell Price was the first to notice the 250mm black object had been moving around, but he initially assumed that another member of museum staff had been buggering about in the display case and simply nudged the effigy. It soon became apparent that the statue was moving regularly, either by someone’s hand or perhaps supernatural influence.

Price set up a CCTV camera to monitor the statue’s display cabinet and the unbelievable footage shows that the statue mysteriously moves all by itself.
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