Own your own fossilised prehistoric turd

Or even a whole bunch. This stunning collection of five 25million-year-old pieces of shit is set to go for around £2,000 at auction.

The glorious lumps of crap come in five vivid shades of deep red-purple, ochre orange, soft dark-violet, grey-green and warm woody burnt umber. Each ancient, fossilised butt-nugget (or coprolite) is uncannily life-like and beautifully formed, the largest of the collection even sports a wonderfully pleasurable arse-taper.

Experts were unable to identify exactly which creature from the Paleogene period actually crimped-off the nutty-logs, but they suspect the turtle's heads were left behind by a mighty prehistoric turtle.


Also available at the auction, which takes place on 26th July in Beverly Hills, is a specimen thought to be the longest example of fossilised poop ever discovered. Compared to the clutch of colourful coprolites, which measure around five-inches-long, this 40-inch faecal deposit is of titanic proportions.

Again, sadly the boffins couldn't determine which prehistoric creature shat-out the lengthy movement, but a good guess would be it was one of the larger ones. Even without the knowledge of exactly what kind of petrified dung is on sale, the record-breaking excrement is expected to fetch about six grand when it goes under the hammer next week.