Budding authors

[Ernest Rants]

Yes Ern. We Do. Will you be doing anymore?

if I get the urge at some point you never know

[mimseycal]

More, more we want more .....

[Alpha]

Good stuff Ern. Can't wait.

[Zombie Mastermind]

Anyone want to read my short (3000 words) story about life after the zombie apocalypse?

[Alpha]

Post it, and i shall read it.

[mimseycal]

So will I ...

[Yankee]

Alpha....can you post more of your story?

[Alpha]

I was thinking of putting it on a blog when i finished typing it all up.

[Yankee]

Cool!!

[Ernest Rants]

Part 7 The Death of Burntnut:






..........................then a bright flash, followed by several stun grenades. The nerve centre had been penetrated!!!!!!!!!!!!. Ern would have seen what followed, had a black hood not been pulled over his head by his unseen assailant. Luckily, as the narrator I can tell you all, in vivid, colorful, mind blowing detail the bloody carnage, extreme violence, rape and pillage that took place at this point. Well I could, but I can't really be arsed.

The point of this episode, is to get rid of an unloved and unwanted character.





The evil DS-05 Galactic Corps, had overrun the facility and rounded up the SBS-07 freedom fighters. Ms Peal put up a brave fight taking out 20 DS-05 henchmen. She clothes-lined 3, drop kicked 4, half neslsoned 2, Double knee gutbusted one hapless chap, Rolling snapmare 2 more, Diamond Dusted 2 or 3, stink faced the rest. Finally they overpowered her.

Her hands were handcuffed behind her back, ankles shackled together, a solid metal clamp placed around her neck was connected by another solid chain locked by padlocks to the hand and ankle cuffs. It was well kinky *cough ahem
cough*.

Trillian and Willian,had been found half naked in the office storeroom, they were both put into hogties with plastic cable ties all 3 were now ball gagged. Burntnut, was also trussed up like an oven ready chicken. The evil
DS guys had striped him naked and were happily tasering his nether regions. This was quite a challenge for them as the target area was extremely small but they had had lots of practice in the past, subduing little gay freedom Internet forum owners was their stockin' trade (they did also enjoy the crotchless panties though).

''do you expect me to talk'' said Nutty

''no! we expect you to you die'' said the head henchman as he rammed his electric cattle prod up his bum.

Why the henchman was shoving the cattle prod up his own bum was a mystery to everyone who was there, who didn't have a bag over their head.

All of our hero's (and Burntnut) were loaded into the back of a paddy wagon and driven to a secret DS-05 Galactic Corps holding facility. Burntnut was mortified when forced to wear the orange overalls. Day and Night our heroes are tortured, the only Internet access they had was to Showbiz Spy and Bitch-fest (and no spell check!!!!!!!) they are forced to read all the posts. Ern tries to gouge his eyes out with his breakfast porridge spoon.

Hours turn to days, days, turn to weeks, weeks turn to months and so on ........ but still the resolve of the SBS-07 cannot be broken, they will not give up the location of the last rebel outpost. Gemma, despite lots of spankings and Chinese burns to her womanly bits kept mum.


Trillian and Willian were in twin bed accommodation and made loads of footage on the CCTV of the baby making kind. Living TV bought the rights to all 438 hours of it.

Finally the day came where the DS-05 Galactic Corps decided to have a show trail, to show other miscreants what could happen if you did not toe the party line. All of the guys were bought before the Judge, Judge Starbolzzz a man who had is own mother indited for giving him a runny egg, a man who would take candy from a baby (an ethnic one) .

He prosecuted one guy for walking on the cracks on the pavement and having curly hair.

First up 'fore the Judge was Burntnut, Starbolzzz read out the crimes against humanity and beastie-anity the court was in hushed silence when Burntnut pointed out to Starbolzzz, he was, his Dad's fag at Eton and if wanted things kept quiet ...................

''case dismissed, the defendant is acquitted'' said a slightly flustered Starbolzzz.



Next up was Gemma, wheeled into court a la Hannibal Lecter and surrounded by 6 hefty guards, Starbolzzz went through all the charges of extreme violence Gemma had committed down the years . When it came to the sentence Starbolzzz had the biggest hard-on since the Hadron collider was switched off. '' I hereby sentence the accused to 4000 hours of community service, to take place back at my gaff and so you can't conceal any weapons you will only be allowed to wear a tiny red bikini at all times'' Starbolzzz mopped his forehead, ''Right who's up next for prosecution?''

Trillian and Willian are bought 'fore the Judge after 2 minutes of intense deliberation (Starbolzzz knocked one out under his desk) Starbolzzz found
them both guilty and passed the death sentence. Luckliy Trillian and Willian had Ally McBeal as their lawyer and the fact they were both pregnant (yes a touch of the Lady Ga Ga going on here) they where just fined £2.50.


Next up was Ern. Starbolzzz places black hanky on his head. ''For crimes against the state , wanton plagiarism, and crass overuse of innuendo I sentence you to hang.''.


''Well I always wanted to be well hung'' said Ern.












...............................few days later.

Ern stands at the Scaffold black bag over his head. *What a shit episode thought Ern* hardly been in it and when I have, a black bag is over me head.

























































































































































































































































































































































































































































oh nearly forgot, Burntnut choked to death on a Donut at Starbucks.